Yesterday, I posted on my public FB page about life being impossible and awful and how I had no hope and therefore must die. Or…something like that. A bit ago, the company I was working for folded & all of sudden *poof* I’m unemployed. As it turns out, they were straight up swindlers. They owe a […]
A few weeks before Christmas, my 10 yr. old asked what he could give me for Christmas that would be meaningful for me. Truthfully, he asked what he could do for me, substituting as a Christmas gift. His Dad had mentioned a few tasks around the house that Ransom agreed to do in exchange for […]
You must learn to be at home with yourself, both literally & figuratively. At home, clean up just for you. Cook well even when no one else is coming over. Shave your legs, just for you. Do better for yourself when alone, just for the love of you. Practice feeding, blanketing, soothing & caring for you, for the love of you. Others can and will do it, but true self-care starts & ends with yourself. Be at home with yourself. Heed the wise advice of someone smarter than me: “be who you needed when you were young.”
I set the lap top down. I got up and went into the kitchen for the sharpest knife possible. I returned to my computer screen and I began stabbing it profusely until the knife went clear through. I then threw the laptop through my front window, shattering the glass, my laptop and my heart itself.
When my ex & I separated, I took so few things. I didn’t want a lot from that house, honestly. Over the years, I’d become completely overwhelmed with more than a decade of pat-rack accumulation. There was so much. So much stuff. The mess of that house was the face of our despair. I took […]
After years & years of angst & soul crushing sorrow, I am at peace. What I’ve been through to get here… …seems downright unmentionable. Peace born from resolve, is greater than happiness. But also, surprisingly there’s happiness too! I am so in love with my husband. My boys are priceless, rowdy treasures. And the joy of a bonus daughter? What four on earth could be more beautiful? I’d give them the sun, moon, stars & the ocean, each & every one. There’s something different […]
October is pregnancy & infant loss awareness month. Today, I’m sharing over at RaisingMothers.com about the ones I’ve lost. ::::: When I was younger, I was a big ball of happy, jumbled emotions when my ex & I decided to try for our first child. This unknown, unmade hypothetical baby was something I’d wanted since […]
The other night, one of the great loves of my life came over for a “sleepover.” The last sleepover we had was in the late 90’s so this isn’t our regular practice. We’ve both had a busy 15 yrs. or so. Stef & I became fast friends in junior high and we’ve been “besties until […]